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THE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY CLIENTTHE. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY CLIENTBy Shari Schreiber. M. A. www. Gettin. Better. com. The. I'd always used a core. Marriage. and Family Therapy intern, before I'd learned anything salient. Borderline pathology.

I'm still using these methods in my. Whether. you're a Borderline or a clinician who's attempting to help one.

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BPD, and. perhaps assist you with revising some long- standing beliefs or. Let. me be clear; I do not 'treat' Borderline Personality Disorder. It's these defenses that prompt disruptive. In. truth, when individuals are helped to heal and resolve their core. It's certainly. not 'rocket science,' but it definitely requires a unique and. Resolving. Borderline Personality Disorder is not a head issue, as there's. Borderline's mind.

BPD is a heart. issue, which is why psychotherapeutic treatment has for many. BPD. MYTHS, MISCONCEPTIONS AND FANTASIESBorderline. Personality Disorder is not a ! It's purely an environmentally induced. The. Borderline. personality is constructed from a cumulative, complex group of. Self. These begin within.

We. form an intimate bond of oneness with our mothers in- utero. We. hear her breathing and her constant heartbeat, and share her oxygen.

We hear her voice, and learn and become familiar. In addition, we co- experience her. If she's anxious, angry or. By. the time we are born, we're already in- love with this woman, as. It's after we leave her. This is when our abandonment trauma first occurs, and. The. initial Honeymoon phase in a new romance with a BPD lover replicates.

Even well meaning parents who. A newborn hasn't. When the mother leaves. No wonder, so many babies succumb to unexplainable. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (or SIDS)!

A. lot of core injured people presume there was some sort of . Anyone who grew up with a BPD mother cannot.

This outer protection. The problem with a suit of. This is literally.

Because. of inadequate/defective primal experiences that kept the Borderline. Mother. As. a result, learning to trust oneself has been elusive. If you've never been able to rely on your own senses. This. issue has serious ramifications within a potentially solid and. A Borderline will resist helpful. Now, their familiar life- long agony. The. Borderline client has learned to avoid, distract and run from.

This has left them emotionally. They must be taught how to experience and. Only then, are they. BPD features. It's. A dysfunctional. identity feels familiar to the NPD/BPD client, and it's far more.

Some. Borderlines cling to the ideation that they've fallen victim to. In a sense, there exists a permeable membrane between. Borderline's private life, and the relationship he/she shares. In short, how they've behaved with others, is.

He or she is afraid of. Psychotherapeutic professionals are afraid they'll lose.

Too many psychotherapists/psychologists have formed a narrow and. BPD presents in impaired.

Borderline Personality Disorder actually. Because of this very limited and mostly. Sadly. many clinicians are under- informed about the etiology of this. Borderline client needs from them. Wellness. The BPD Waif inspires these assurances from you, but they'll.

Some can be abusive, and while you might tolerate or encourage. Ever. Promising. never to leave a Borderline does not.

I tried this at the very start of my career as an MFT. I thought it might be helpful.

In short, don't make promises you may not be. The. BPD client might alternate between being seductive and abusive. Dr. Hyde. temperament. Some weeks, the therapist is . Other sessions. he's petulant, argumentative, devaluing, etc. This all good/all. Burning a scented candle during their visits can be helpful.

Because. Borderlines have such terrible self- worth, they cannot fathom. This issue contributes. Emotional cut- off is very common.

The BPD patient enters. Frankly. the Borderlines I've assisted have been some of my favorite clients.

They are bright. engaging and affable. Most are extremely talented, and you can't. Many have navigated. Their anger about.

I'm seen as just another person who'll let them down. I. do not view anger as a 'bad' emotion, and I encourage. It never dissuades me from accepting somebody. I sense we'll have a continuous power. The Borderline's need to control their relationships. Crisis. and chaos addiction is typical among borderline disordered clients. Non- compliance. with treatment is common for Borderlines.

Aside from their fear. BPD. Waif features present. Unfortunately. very little in undergraduate and graduate course work prepares.

BPD is within societies all over the globe. Any psychic and/or emotional wounds incurred.

This faulty. assumption must be corrected within the framework of a steady. A. client with borderline or narcissistic traits can enter treatment. Their impatience. This type. of client seldom stays in treatment long enough to achieve their.

A. great number of females who contact me for help, say: . For me, it's become a dead giveaway. I have seen. no exceptions. These. people often try to control what happens during their time with. It's mostly this client's manipulation tactic~ so try. You. cannot allow the BPD client to gain the upper hand in your therapeutic.

If he/she did not require sound, reliable adult. In short, there are times you'll have to play.

The Heavy. It's called 'tough love,' and it's often the only way. Their tendency is to confuse. Recovery Methods. A. common misconception is that all Borderlines were molested. Sexual abuse does not cause BPD! Even if abuse by a father, family friend or.

I've. seen tremendous defenses in these clients, as to idealization. These evaluations are typically inaccurate. It's. not unusual for the. We then have discarded. Self which results in a fragmented. BPD seeds to grow). Borderline. clients often pedestalize their mother and see her as .

Perhaps. Mom always appeared to be a long- suffering . I always challenge this stance, for there. Significant. lapses in childhood memory are silent clues as to how much abuse. Borderline had to endure and. Kids who. cannot develop defenses and coping strategies to ameliorate their.

Many. survivors have enlisted psychotherapy, which has spanned decades. Still, they continue to hope that a 'magical cure'.

The. Borderline lives with such a profound level of core shame, they're. Their. 'affirmations' may episodically override self- loathing, but these. Self. The. Borderline may develop 'roles' they've come to use within their. In a sense they're sleepwalking. They're heavily armored and their. BETWEEN. A ROCK AND A HARD PLACEPsychotherapists. BPD features are especially challenging.

Most have been over- therapized or have undergone. It's a. shame that their cerebral brilliance works against them.

If this isn't routinely. Effective. treatment of BPD is realistically on par with doing child psychology. I. don't believe in withholding diagnostic impressions from my clients. If you went to a physician complaining that you were. Learning we have. BPD traits is a hard pill to swallow, but it's not a death sentence~.

Well. A. dual diagnosis must always be considered, as a fair number of. Borderlines also struggle with chronic depression or Bipolar. Disorder, and balancing brain chemistry with medication is. Untreated ADD. issues can inhibit solid BPD recovery outcomes as well. I'd. say the primary issue with the Borderline in treatment, is their. Many of these people have been physically. Their self- defeating narratives have become.

Borderline client move toward healthier. Core. traumatized people are programmed to accept that it's far easier. How could it. be otherwise?? AN. ANCIENT, BUT FAMILIAR AND COMFORTING AGONYMany. Borderlines fantasized throughout childhood about killing themselves. Mom or Dad. Any non- abusive touch from a parent.

As. this was the only way for many BPD'ers to receive a modicum of. Borderline Waifs (female and male) usually begin their. The. Borderline Waif. These are Survivors, who are.

BPD Waifs seldom get. Sadly, their addiction to pain and struggle usually. BPD. Waif- types don't just fall prey to feeling traumatized by elements. Waifs are notorious for.

It's like a little black cloud always follows them around- -but. Childhood. neglect and abuse has left the Borderline with severe entitlement.

The enlivening challenge of having had to repeatedly. Like. Houdini, both male and female BPD clients are compelled to keep. Houdini. eventually succumbed to one of his death- defying performances!

For. this Borderline to begin tolerating love, success and. This takes. hard core trauma work, which challenges everything she grew up. If she's wrestling with addictions. An absence of anguish makes the Borderline.

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Working. with a borderline disordered client who's coupled means. They'll typically. Just when you're pretty certain this client's in. A young. therapist (someone new to the business) is taken in by this, and. Borderline's part. Week to week, this client alternates.

If you confront them about their emotional see- saw. All. that matters to the Borderline is that their immediate world is. Chaos in their outer world mimics the. One's capacity for abstract thinking and. BEYOND. THE YELLOW BRICK ROADMy. There are striking similarities. Self during infancy, which caused important.

Disconnection/dissociation from difficult. Healing work. is Feeling work. A. Borderline tries to gain a sense of Self through engagement with. Their seduction routines are reflexive, predatory and. Even. brief absences of contact with another, can make the Borderline.

This. client often wrestles with feelings of emptiness/deadness, and. As these supplies were unavailable. Borderline struggles to accommodate relational bonds that. These types. of attachments feel unnatural, anxiety provoking and suffocating.

Hence the paradox. Their in- utero attachment. BPD features is maintained as a deep, unrequited. Deeply. distorted perceptions of .

Solid recovery work anchors. This issue may take the form of skipping weekly. These distancing tactics ease sensations of dreaded vulnerability.